Answering The Question: A Place For Me

Looking at the three types of places that shape my life PLUS my favorite hits from the Queen of Rock and Roll.

After two weeks on the road, I’m finally in my home again, writing to you from my kitchen table.

My journaling practice was compromised these past few weeks, and I’m looking forward to engaging with my routine once again as I settle back in.

I found it difficult to journal not for issue of time or will, but mental space. When I’m hopping between locations and people, it’s hard for my mind to quiet enough to sit and find space for reflection or exploration. So rather than push beyond, I try to honor that fact and make my travel time less about creation and more about curation. Catching up on old articles. Reading those tabs I’ve had open in Chrome for a few months. Splitting the spine on some new reads (three in fact). Binge-watching.

It felt right, and now I am rested and ready to resume.

Finding myself in a special place once again, let’s dive in.

What is a place that has special meaning for you?

Answering the Question: The Places That Made Me

Beginning this exploration of place, I free wrote places that came to mind for me as significant. Not why or where or what, just the places themselves. Following that, I endeavored to identify common threads or themes. Three buckets came into relief.

The First Place: The Globe

Knowing me, it should come as no surprise that a travel bucket is home to some of my special places. Three that I found myself committing to the page were Wadi Rum Desert + Petra (from my trip to Jordan), Ifrane, Morocco (where I studied abroad), and the airport/on a plane. Morocco is the only one that feels connected to both space and time, while the others are not just timeless, they are recurring. I plan to go to Jordan again, and just this week I was on four different planes. So it is not so much what happened in these places a single time, or a single experience there, but the space these spaces bring me to.

More on that in a second.

The Second Place: My Home

The kitchen sink. By the bookshelf. On the porch/patio. The bedroom.

Four places in my home that feel like home to me. Surrounded by food. Surrounded by books. Surrounded by sunlight. Surrounded by…myself.

Again, these are not single moments in time, but persistent places I get to exist in in my life. In trying to figure out why these places I was reminded of the first timer I tried inner child work with one of my therapists. He asked me to (mentally) visit my childhood home and witness myself from a distance. What did I see myself doing? Eating over the sink (my classic after school snack, Chocolate Soup), and then hiding in my room. To this day, these are spaces that put me at ease.

In reflecting on these spaces alongside those in the travel bucket, I saw a common theme: isolation. In my home, I am alone. On a plane, I am surrounded by people, but left alone. In the desert of Wadi Rum, I could not be more isolated and alone, having a campsite to myself, only a blanket between me and the stars.

This could mean so many things that I have to continue to explore:

• Is this isolation just a reminder to myself that I like to be alone?

• Is this isolation a relief, because I am exhausted from performing or masking in front of others?

• Is this isolation simply a reflection of how much I value recharging my social battery?

• Is this isolation a reflection of a need for less stimulation, in a world that only gives us more (notifications, noise, news)?

My instinct and initial exploration has led me to believe it’s some combination of 3 and 4. As someone who has been chronically online and lived exclusively in urban areas, I find myself appreciating silence, stillness, and disconnection more and more as I get older (that’s why I love my Sunday mornings with just the newspaper, some coffee, and some sunshine). These answers are clearly reflecting that back at me.

The Third Place: The Outdoors

At the beach. On a run or hike. Throw in the porch/patio answer above, and the third trend in my answer identifies itself: a desire to be in sunlight, fresh air, and nature.

Seemingly, this would be the other pillar of my social recovery and recharge, and a lesson that I’m solar-powered. Sunshine and skies feed and nourish my soul, priming me for taking on whatever lies ahead.

When I was on one of my New York trips a few months ago, a friend asked what makes California so great, what it has that New York doesn’t, and he said, specifically, “Besides that the weather that is.” The implicit statement being that it has nothing on New York.

But as I explained, it’s not just about the weather, the sunshine. That’s like saying winning the lottery is just about the money. Sure, winning the lottery solves my money problem, but it also means I can get my car fixed, pay off my loan, start that business, go back to school, etc. Solving the money problem frees me up to solve so many other problems. And the same goes for California’s weather. A consistent and comfortable climate relieves pressure on so many other decision points or practices in my life, from walking the dog to going to the gym to spending time with friends.

In New York three years ago, I could never imagine writing any of the above spots as important places to me. Three years into LA, it’s clear how that move has changed me.

Something for the Weekend

Ask any friend of mine the first word that comes to mind when they think of me, and I imagine >50% of them would say “Prince.” To be sure, that’s capital-P Prince, the iconic musician, artist, and creator, and not lowercase-p “prince” for they think fondly of me but not that fondly.

It brings me great joy to know my affinity for and obsession with Prince is strong enough to define my entire brand.

But ask me the musical artist I wish I had seen in concert once in my life and the answer iss consistent and quick.

Tina Turner.

She’s right up there with Prince for me, and just like Prince, she adorns the walls of my apartment.

There’s so much to love about the Queen of Rock and Roll. Her music. Her movements. Her message. But it is always going to be her story, first and foremost, that makes her so incredible.

Much like Prince, I was raised on the music of Tina. I remember the CD case for Simply The Best (her first greatest hits compilation) in my mother’s car and looping classic after classic after classic. But it wasn’t until I watched What’s Love Got To Do With It for the first time (we pause to ask for justice for Angela Bassett’s ungiven Oscar) that I understood what Tina represented. I cried when she finally left Ike, and I still do every time I watch her storm across the street with just $0.36 in her pocket. From thirty-six cents to over 36 million records sold (okay, really more than 100 million but I was aiming for some parallel structure there).

In honor of her passing, I give you my five favorite Tina tunes. Pump up the volume, stretch your legs, and make like the Queen this weekend.

5. What You Get Is What You See

Tina’s first solo album was a country one, and while she’d hit her groove as a rock and roll superstar, I’ve always had a soft spot for this song that is infused with some country and rockabilly sensibilities. And we love to hear Tina stepping out and declaring her worth, and the love she deserves, after her marriage to Ike.

4. Golden Empire

Any song from the Ike & Tina era that talks about a woman wanting and loving a man is…tough to listen to knowing what went on behind the scenes. But the electricity of the music they made together comes second to none. A lot of songs from the era fit the “Golden Empire” mold, but this has always been my favorite, thanks to the way the underlying bass just chug-chug-chugs along, moving the song forward like a steam engine.

3. The Best

What can I say about this song that hasn’t been said one hundred times over?

2. Nutbush City Limits

Clips of her live performance of this song have gone viral this weekend, but it’s worth watching this live performance in its entirety. Here we get Anna Mae Bullock herself singing a simple song about home, Nutbush, Tennessee.

1. River Deep, Mountain High

Tina Turner and Phil Spector’s Wall of Sound. You can’t listen to this song and not get lifted. The power of her voice here is incredible. The fact that this single was a flop when it came out still boggles me.

Enjoy, and see you Sunday fam.

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