Answering the Question: Putting it Off

Am I procrastinating or avoiding? PLUS, two Father's Day somethings for the weekends, ft. LeBron James and my run club.

What am I putting off right now?

I opened this week’s prompt email by admitting I had procrastinated at putting it together, which ended up being the inspiration for the prompt itself. And as I sit here typing up this reflection at 10:45AM PT on Friday, I yet again have put off something I normally tackle ahead of time. A real theme this week, folks.

But procrastinating on these emails is a time management concern, a prioritization issue. It’s as simple as having five things to do in the morning and this ending up at the end of the list some weeks depending on how badly the dog needs to go out and whether or not I’m working out in the morning or at night.

And when I tried to think about what I’m putting off right now, a number of things fell into that nuisance/time management category. They’re not really big things, not really world-changing…they’re the mundane activities I have to do to keep life in order but don’t reveal much I didn’t already know about myself or would change my life if I didn’t have to do them. Minor adjustments to a routine, sending an email, cleaning the guest bedroom. Really, the whole category could just be called housekeeping.

But then there were the other items. The thorny things. The scary things. The things I am putting off because I’m afraid to expose myself to them, to admit certain things to myself. The activities themselves aren’t hard, it’s the truths they’ll uncover that are.

One example of this was the first item I wrote down: revisiting my book.

Some of you might know that after my dad died in 2020, I processed my grief by putting fingers to keys on 90,000 words of a “fictional memoir.” It was a cathartic and healing process, and something I thought I might be able to turn into a larger opportunity to share with others, specifically men, to discuss and address grief in a new way.

And yet I haven’t touched it in about a year.

Why?

Because I’m not ready yet.

But admitting that feels like defeat.

Is it though? Is it defeat to simply not be at a place yet to tell your story? To have something you’re ready to share with the world? I’m not saying “never”, I’m saying “not yet.” And since I’m on a journey, that’s okay.

I, you, we…don’t have to have all the answers at once, and maybe our procrastination is trying to tell us that we don’t. We shouldn’t force The Work™️. We need to let ourselves do it when our mind, body, and spirit are ready. You wouldn’t enter the Olympic Trials for figuring skating without practicing, at least a few times, first, so why are you trying to bite off some big, crazy goal before even inventorying whether or not you’re prepared and capable of doing so?

My two cents…

Something(s) for the Weekend

This weekend is Father’s Day, so I wanted to share two Somethings around that subject,

First up is this piece from Justin Tinsley on how LeBron James “is smashing stereotypes around Black fatherhood.” It’s actually part of a larger series on LeBron’s cultural impact, all of which are worth taking the time to read.

As someone whose relationship to the NBA has waned over time (I blame James Dolan), LeBron is stuck-in-time in my mind as the high schooler/rookie baller I would watch clips of every morning on Sportscenter before school. As an NBA pro, I’ve watched very few of his non-playoff games, and am fairly tuned out of the sport.

But as a man outside the game, the more I learn about him the more impressive I find him. His courage, his tenacity, his savvy, and his honesty. It’s said best in this quote that closes the article.

“LeBron is gonna be defined as someone who showed up in the right way in the spaces where he was supposed to show up,” said DuBois. “Whether it’s at home with his kids and wife, the public sphere, political arena, speaking truth to power, showing up for his community … he did it the right way.”

Secondly, you might have seen me posting on Instagram lately about my involvement with Keep it Run Hundred, a running club here in Los Angeles. Wanted to share a clip from a special moment we had at last night’s run.

Post-run, KIRH’s founder, Butta, presented the fathers in the group with a very special gift from himself and Nike. I’ll let you watch for yourself below.

See you Sunday!

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