Answering the Question: Unearthing Expectations
A quick (and late) reflection on this week's journal prompt.
Yep, I slipped up. Forgot to send out this week’s reflection yesterday. Won’t be the last time though.
Going to keep it brief since we’re behind and you’ll be hearing from me again tomorrow, so let me dive right in.
What are your covert expectations?
Answering the Question (briefly): Digging Through the Past
I used this prompt as an opportunity to look back at past disappointments. The goal: to better understand why I was let down. Was it because of the action itself (a break-up, a declined invitation) or did it trigger something deeper (an abandonment issue, an expectation of friendship)?
What I found in a lot of these cases was that my disappointment came from an expectation that people would meet me where I was at, even if I had not communicated where that was. This involved a two-fold assumption: that people were capable of reading through the lines of my behavior to understand my values and needs, and that they could reciprocate through their own actions towards me.
Fatal mistake.
Perfect partnership or friendship is not about prediction, it’s about response. Nobody should be expected to know what I need or when I’m going to need it (heck, I don’t!). However, they should be expected to take in that information from me, and decide whether or not they can provide it.
Of course, that requires me to be in touch with myself enough to know what I need. But that’s a problem for another prompt…
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Like I said, keeping it short since this is coming in late and I’ll be in your inbox again tomorrow. Have a good Saturday and see you tomorrow!