The Fifty-Second Question: Asking For It (Friendship)
Knowing it means to be a good friend is one thing. Getting what you need from a friend is another.
A little late with the note today, so diving right into it.
And if you don’t subscribe…maybe think about it!
Answering the Question
Last week’s question asked us to consider what it means to be a good friend. Hopefully you didn’t just consider what that means in the context of being a friend to you, but also in how we can show up for others. Though, keep in mind, what ever person needs and expects from their friends will be different!
But as far as me, here are the three things I came down to (I put pen to paper on a number of ideas, but these were the three that really stuck out to me):
Blunt Honesty. Don’t beat around the bush with me on anything. If you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around me, than I don’t think we have built a strong enough foundation for our friendship. Don’t ever feel like you have to package up your feedback, advice, or thoughts in any kind of way. If you’re my friend, than I know that anything you’re saying to me comes from a place of love, kindness, and care. Nobody has time for anything other than direct and true feedback in friendships. Or at least, I don’t.
An Inquiring Mind. I’d love for you to be a curious person, sure, but I mean this in the context of our inter-personal relationship. Don’t hesitate to ask me how I’m doing, what I’m feeling, and, specific to this prompt, what I need from you.
Intimacy. Relationships that only scratch the surface aren’t interesting to me. As I mentioned when I discussed my thoughts on soulmates, I think friendships can be just as intimately intense as relationships. That’s something I want. To deeply know and understand you, and for you to do that for me. If we get there through shared experiences or just deep conversations is no matter, as long as we’re truly revealing ourselves to each other.
The Fifty-Second Question
You’ve established what it means to be a good friend. But how do you share that information?
How do you convey the expectations of friendship?
Knowing is one thing, but asking for what you need is another.
Do you recall any specific times you communicated this? How did it feel? How was it received?
Is there a time you can think of when you communicated this, but it was not respected? What did you do?
Know that you know the what and the how, would you consider being more upfront in forward in requesting these things from friends?
Have people ever conveyed these things to you? What can you learn from those conversations?
This Week’s Jam: “I Would Die 4 U”
As I send you today’s (delayed) question, I’m watching this year’s Academy Awards ceremony. Feels like it only makes sense to select a Prince song from the Oscar-winning soundtrack to Purple Rain to mark the occasion. So, here’s my favorite song off this 10/10, no-skips album: “I Would Die 4 U”.
Could I talk about the meaning of this song? Sure, but it’s basically Prince inhabiting the role of Jesus and/or The Holy Trinity and that’s not something I really have strong feelings or deep thoughts about. In my head, this is a love song (albeit a hubristic one). The energy of this song is just pure and vintage Prince. It’s unrestrained and nervously furious. And if you agree, then enjoy the 10-minute extended version (and do your best to find a copy of the 31-minute bootleg).
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Until next weekend!