The Fourth Question: On Reframing Our Mistakes

Changing the stories we tell ourselves about our worst moments, our readers speak, and I show my politics (just a little)

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It’s time to sharpen your pencils and crack the spine on your journal because I’m back in your inbox with our fourth question. Let’s get to it.

How have my mistakes helped me enjoy where I am now?

One of the reasons that journaling has become such a meaningful tool for me is that it allows me to externalize in a safe space. I can put down all the thoughts I’m grappling with and engage with them there as concrete concepts. Taken outside the hamster wheel that is my brain each of these thoughts becomes a tangible idea for me to witness, probe, and examine. Creating this opportunity for myself gives me the chance to reframe whatever it is I’m thinking about by bringing it outside the arena dominated by my inner critic.

This week I want to suggest you do the same, and try to flip the script on the stories you might be telling yourself, to reverse the narrative. Try reflecting on some of the “mistakes” or “bad choices” from your past and consider what they led to. Yes, ending a ten-year relationship might have caused you a lot of pain, but maybe it means you’re on the path to leading a more honest life because you put authenticity before attachment. Yes, maybe taking that job at a start-up for six months left you little space for other relationships in your life, but perhaps it help you realized what you need to prioritize in your life, and the type of career you don’t want to have. It was a gift, a painful gift, but a gift nonetheless.

Our Community Speaks

Heard from one of our fellow writers this week with some reflections on our second prompt. Sharing an excerpt of those below.

And as always, if you ever want to share something, reflect, or submit a prompt idea, just drop me an email or a DM.

“…my themes were similar…a lot of stillness and quiet, a lot of unscheduled time, and also just love late-night convos with my partner while doing nothing in particular. Was also reflecting on how alive I feel around performance and art (doing improv, watching theatre, etc.) and I almost see sharing that experience with someone as a test of new vulnerability. Going to a museum or show with someone is an entirely different side of me I'm inviting someone to than the standard side they might see.”

The emphasis added above is my own, and I wanted to call that out because I absolutely loved that insight. What powerful language to give to this idea. You’re not just sharing an activity with someone, you’re sharing a part of yourself when you do it, and opening yourself up to possible harm. What a radical act.

A Parting…Something

If you follow the news at all, or just exist, you’ve seen or heard about the collapse of Silicon Valley Bank. After reading all the explainers, I was at a loss for what to take away from this incident, and unsure how to feel about it. Then I read this, and I suggest you do the same. The excerpt below was my “THAT PART!” moment:

To put it more plainly, for the past 10 years venture capitalists have had near-perfect laboratory conditions to create a lot of money and make the world a much better place. And yet, some of their proudest accomplishments that have attracted some of the most eye-watering sums have been: 1) chasing the dream of zeroing out labor costs while monopolizing a sector to charge the highest price possible (A.I. and the gig economy); 2) creating infrastructure for speculating on digital assets that will be used to commodify more and more of our daily lives (cryptocurrency and the metaverse); and 3) militarizing public space, or helping bolster police and military operations.

Anyway, see ya Friday!

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