The Sixty-Ninth Question: I'm Afraid Of...
Trying to find my no again PLUS is it time to conquer my fear of snakes?
Just call me Grandpa Jonathan today. Writing to you after recently topping off my hard candy dish at home and complaining about the loud music coming from SoFi Stadium (there’s a festival there this weekend). These kids today!
You need to know the complaints are more part of the performance art piece I call a life than they are genuine annoyance. Complaining is my love language, and complaints bubble up inside me the way farts and burps do in others. If I don’t express them I’d simply combust. So for the good of myself and the society, I send them out into the universe. Sometimes in conversation with others, sometimes simply to myself. But oftentimes they’re really just strong opinions, loosely held. I’m a big advocate for letting people live their life as they seem fit, as long as it doesn’t impede the freedom of others to do so. Does the music annoy me? No, not really. It’s 2PM in the afternoon and folks are out there having a good time. Let them. But do I HAVE to comment on it? Absolutely. If there’s something to observe, I’m going to observe it.
Welp, that was apropos of nothing, so let’s get into this week’s prompt.
Answering the Question
Last week I suggested you consider what might be missing from your life right now. Of course, there are so many directions you could have taken that in, from the tangible (better calves) to the intangible (an understanding of physics), the material (a new phone) to the immaterial (a spiritual practice).
At the beginning of this exploration I imagine I was pulled in the direction many of you may have been, of considering what I was missing on a material level. What items did I want/need that I didn’t have? What was on my wish list? Why did I want those things? The more I turned that over, the more I realized that actually having these things would feel quite hollow. My base needs are met as a person, and any other items I desired (a cooking utensil, a book) would simply be bonuses. Ones that would quickly lose their value to me as my desires fell on new objects I wanted to possess.
Probing further, I saw my words on the page turning towards my word for the second half of the year, execute. What was preventing me from getting in the way of executing? Answering that, I began to realize what I was missing.
Time. But more than that I was missing the ability to honor my no.
As someone who centers community in his life, I often over-commit to what I can provide. Going to events, running an errand, making a phone call…I want to be in community with my people however I can. And it’s not just to be a people pleaser, it’s because I legitimately enjoy spending time with my people. But in pursuit of living a healthy life (specifically getting 6-8 solid hours of sleep) AND realizing my goals, centering community has become a complicating factor. All of these commitments take away from my ability to sit still and do the work required to execute on my plans. If I want to be as committed as I tell myself I am to these, then I have to start finding my “no” when invitations and requests are sent my way.
Question #69
Like Indiana Jones, I hate snakes. But I will not be solving that with this week’s question.
What do you want to stop being afraid of?
Can you trace the origin of this fear?
What has this fear forced you to say no to, avoid, etc.?
How do you think you could go about overcoming this?
If you’re able to put this fear in the past, what do you believe would be newly possible for you?
What resources do you think you need to overcome this fear?
This Week’s Jam: “Nothing Compares 2 U”
This week I’m sharing a rare live performance by Prince of this classic he penned for Sinead O’Connor (RIP).
This performance with with The NPG during a standalone show at Prince’s club in Minneapolis, Glam Slam in 1992. Then a preview for the forthcoming Diamonds and Pearls tour, this recording was, to the best of my knowledge, never released publicly until it was included on the Deluxe Edition release of the album earlier this year.
Cool Update
You may recall that last week I shared my review of the new film Sing Sing with y’all.
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Here’s an update I’m excited to share on that. A24, the production studio behind the movie, reached out and asked me to use it as an ad for the film! Not only am I thrilled to be able to help them reach more people with this important film (seriously, I cannot praise it enough), it marks my first paid partnership in this new era of content creation for me. It’s a really cool win!
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See you next week!
This was a fun read and congrats on the partnership!