The Third Question: Forgive You?
Is forgiveness simply saying, or receiving, an "I'm Sorry?" PLUS Do we like the word growth? + Daddy Pedro Pascal.
Thanks in advance for reading. A quick plug to subscribe if you’re stumbling upon this community for the first time, were forwarded/sent this email/link by a friend, or have been reading and yet to sign-up. I’m beggin’ ya.
Sitting here in appreciation for the miracle that it is to be able to communicate with you all. Arriving home from a day spent taking in art with friends, I discovered my power was out, and it remained out well past the time I went to bed. Was a bit nervous it might not come back in time for me to reach you all today!
But at 1AM, I awoke to the familiar, but jarring, whirring, buzzing, and clicking of lights turning on, modems resetting, and TVs resuming their regularly scheduled programming.
So here we are.
And now, the third question.
What does forgiveness mean to you?
Also, no promises this week. Let’s just assume, from here on out, that as harmless or intriguing as some of these questions might be, they’re going to push us into some thoughtful and reflective territory that might be, no, will be uncomfortable to sit within. But that’s the whole point of this exercise. With growth, the only way out is through.
As always, some questions to get your mind grapes juicing:
Define forgiveness.
Who are you waiting on forgiveness from?
What would getting that forgiveness mean to you? How would it change your life?
When was the last time you forgave someone? When was the last time someone forgave you? Probe that experience.
Do you owe yourself forgiveness? For what? What’s holding you back from giving it?
On Language
Noticing I used a word above that I often hesitate in deploying when discussing these subjects: growth.
Growth is having a moment. An incredibly popular word and topic in the self-help and development space, and also one of the must-used GIPHY items on my phone (s/o Natasha Rothwell).
But the word growth, as it relates to these topics, often strikes me as possibly problematic. Though it’s never intended that way, the word growth invites comparison. Has this person grown more than me? Put in more work? Am I further along on the journey or are they? It can lead people to create buckets of the grown and the stunted.
This doesn’t resonate with me though. Growth is not a linear journey, nor is it singular in its path and benchmarks. Growth is going to look different for each and every one of us, so there is no comparison.
In place of growth I am experimenting with using language like expanding and contracting. We are each our own bubble. There is no uniform direction to move in, no forward, no backward. Just space. And throughout our lives our bubbles expand and contract based on what we need at any point in time. Further, expansion and contraction carry no positive or negative connotation. Sometimes pulling inward, closer to ourselves, is exactly what we need (contraction) and sometimes expanding can push us too far away from ourselves.
What do you think? Would love your thoughts, or any other language suggestions!
Write In!
As we grow this community together, my hope is that you won’t just be hearing from me about journaling and its benefits, but your fellow readers and writers too. If you ever want to share something, anonymously or otherwise, that one of our questions has brought up for you, just drop me an email or a DM with your story.
A Parting…Something
Are you watching The Last of Us? The Mandalorian? Are you on social media? If so, then you know daddy Pedro Pascal is having his moment. You should also know that we are soul siblings. Why? Just watch his recent Hot Ones interview. I’m starting the video with his most important answer, but watch the whole thing because he’s worth it.
See ya Friday!
-
Enjoy this week’s prompt? Then please don’t forget to subscribe and share!