The Twenty-Ninth Question: Bitching and Moaning

Just like examining anger, critically examining our complaints can tell us more about what we really need.

I love a good complaint. Just this week I did a solid five minutes on how expensive restaurants have become. Seriously, I went to a diner and paid $30 for a tuna melt with fries and a can of soda (no refills). What is this world coming to!?

Now, some complaints are just that, complaints. Young people not owning flashlights and the weather come to mind.

But sometimes complaints can be revealing of something much deeper.

For instance, when you tell someone you’re at dinner with to stop looking at their phone, what you might really be asking for is them to give you attention, or to value your time. With that knowledge, we can not only flip the script on what we say to our friends and loved one (asking for someone to do something is always preferable to asking them to not do something), and how we understand our own needs.

So,

What are your complaints telling you?

• What complaints do you find yourself repeating the most during the week?

• What do these complaints reveal about your own needs and/or boundaries?

• Are there certain people you are around, or circumstances you are in, when these complaints surface?

• How can you reframe these complaints to an affirmative ask?

Happy Journaling!

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