The Forty-Seventh Question: Whole Lotta Love
Let's get a bit sappy this month and break down the emotions behind our (least-favorite) Hallmark holiday.
Did you know Asking the Question is celebrating it’s 1st Birthday this month? Yep, a whole year of asking questions, cracking open our journals, and sharpening our pencils in the pursuit of developing a new understanding of ourselves…or something like that.
The best birthday present you could give us? How about a share. If you’re enjoying these prompts, please share them with your community (or even just one person) so that we can continue to grow this space together.
This week we closed out our January focus on “New Year, Same You” and shift to February’s theme.
As an editorial note, I’m not sure how often I’ll have planned themes like I have had to start this year. If you tell me you find them helpful, then I’ll keep them coming. But sometimes they might appear without explanation, sometimes a month’s questions might seem disjointed, and sometimes you might discover your own themes through answering them. We’ll just see where the blank page takes us!
Answering The Question: Here’s Livin’ For You Kid
What do I owe my old self? Gosh, which self? Little kid me? 20s me? Yesterday’s me? The naive me who agreed to go for a sixteen mile run this morning? All of them I guess. Each one of them is a part of the person writing this to you today. Everything I do is to honor who they are and the part they played in the journey to bring me where I am now, whether that part was immature or mature, growing or stagnating. In that spirit, I could identify three things I owe these versions of me, and maybe these will speak to your discoveries as well:
Forgiveness. For any adverse decision or action I’ve made, no matter how embarrassing, hurtful, or debilitating. I believe that these actions, their costs real, were done with a) the best of intentions and b) the best available knowledge I had at the time. As long as I’ve held myself accountable, repaired any harm done, and educated myself to avoid making the same mistakes again, it’s time to free myself from the shame of those choices. Let myself heal and to let my past self rest. As I write to you this week I’ve just finished reading A.J. Bond’s book Discomfortable, and a key discussion in these pages is the power shame has to shape our actions. I believe that regret and remorse for past actions inform our shame response, and that’s something we have to unlearn as it inhibits future growth. Shame is but a teacher, not a code for living.
Living out loud. While I’ve never been known to be anything but boisterous, just because I took up space doesn’t mean I took up my space. As I move forward, I want to be sure that I’m living a life that holds up to dreams and aspirations of my inner child, and stays true to the values and curiosities he was filled with. Embracing those, inwardly and outwardly, is how I can show up for him, and more fully for myself today.
Love. Speaking of which…
February 2024: L-O-V-E
It’s the month of that Hallmark-hued holiday, Valentine’s Day, so why not make love our topic of discussion and reflection?
This month, we're not just talking about love; we're celebrating it in all its forms. It's about time we dive into the beautiful and messy world of this, one of the most complex, emotions. After all, understanding and embracing love for ourselves is the first step to sharing it with the world.
Let's unravel this mystery together throughout the month.
The Forty-Seventh Question
Let’s start at the most basic level here, or at least what I think the most basic level is.
When do you feel loved?
To understand love, we have to start by understanding how we experience it. So this week, let’s try to identify and sit with the way we process love. Try diving in with these questions:
Who makes you feel this way?
Are the similar situations or settings when you notice yourself feeling the most loved?
Can you point to any particular instances that come to mind?
How do you KNOW you are experiencing love? Is it something you feel? If so, what does it feel like (warm? cold? tense?)? Is it something you know through words? Actions?
This Week’s Jam: “It’s Gonna Be Lonely”
Erm, maybe a song about (potential) heartbreak isn’t the right way to kick off this month…
Introducing this week’s Prince song, “It’s Gonna Be Lonely”
My favorite ballad on an album full of them, this song is such an unassuming closer to the album, Prince’s second. It’s a clear stepping stone as he continues to refine his musical style. It’s a story of young love and heartbreak, a very co-dependent love if I’m being honest. And it’s silky smooth. Enjoy.
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See you next week!