The Seventy-Forth Question: Building a Longer Table
When you have the resources...
Look at me, emailing you a prompt two weeks in a row and getting back on track.
Before we get to this week, a final reminder: VOTE! Tuesday, November 5, is Election Day here in the USA and it’s critically important that you go vote and make your voice heard. Use I Will Vote to check your eligibility status, find your polling place, and more!
And if you’ve already voted, try to check-in with a few friends (or family members) who you think might forget to vote or are on the fence about showing up. Research has found that a simple conversation can increase someone’s odds of showing up to the polls by as much as 8%!
Answering the Question
I led into last week’s question about experiencing discomfort by sharing the experience that surfaced the prompt for me. So I won’t dive into a deep story here but I will share a few quick thoughts on what else surfaced for me as I continued to process the experience:
There was a sense of validation that came for me from knowing I acted the way I did. When I was exhausted and didn’t have the energy to perform civility, the person I became stood up for doing what was best and right for a friend and not for a power structure.
In writing I tried to explore more of what my avoidance of these situations and encounters looks like. Something that I’m grappling with is whether the pursuit of win-win solutions is driven not by a desire to create mutually satisfactory solutions, but to avoid conflict. While I’m not sure if that’s the case, I’m also asking myself if it even matters.
And lastly, it’s fascinating to consider the courage we have to stand up for our friends/strangers when it comes to their inconveniences, as opposed to our own. If a friend ordered mashed potatoes but got a baked potato, I’d bother a waiter until they brought us what my friend ordered. But if the mistake were on my own dish, “oh, that’s okay. I liked baked potatoes too!” Is it a sense of justice for others that drives me? A desire to nurture/protect? Or a sense of unworthiness on my own part to get what I desire?
More questions raised, but that’s what this practice is all about.
Question #74
America’s loneliness epidemic is well-diagnosed and well-covered in outlets other than mine. So what the hell are we to do about it?
How do you build community?
What does the concept of community mean to you?
Have you intentionally built community before?
How do you feel after spending time with your community?
How do you co-mingle your communities?
Does a different version of you show up in different communities? How do you feel about that? Is it something you think should change or stay the same?
What are the characteristics of a healthy community?
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Until we meet again friends!